| | It all came crashing down at me today. Everything that I was running away from, came back.
I stood there, watching people getting all excited to get their free cowboy hats, so happy, so carefree.
Silence. Memories. Tears.
I went inside to visit my mom at work...the same building....all that came into mind was standing there 3 years ago....a few days a week I would wait for you to get off work so we can go to places, hang out....share...laugh...and just be happy.
Same place, 3 years later...yet so different.
I really thought I can handle the whole Stampede thing this year...especially with all my friends coming up from Lethbridge...some haven't even been to the Stampede yet...but I know I can't do it yet. I can't handle it yet...and I'm mad at myself for it.
But one thing I can admit is that....for the last 2 years...I turned away from talking about it because I was scared of facing pain. I am tired of telling myself and others that I'm "fine" when I'm not. I really need and should start to deal with it.
First step? I need to welcome back my journal. it's been almost 2 years since I last wrote an entry....maybe now it's a good time to start again...
oh big sis...where are you? =( I need you.
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| | Posted 6/19/2009 1:27 AM - 55 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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